Jordyn Gechter grew up in South Florida as the youngest of three siblings. Her sister, Gaby, was born developmentally delayed. With just 18 months between them, the two grew up together — but it wasn’t until adulthood that Gechter truly grasped the impact her sister had on her life.
After graduating from college and starting a corporate job, Gechter began volunteering at JARC Florida (Jewish Association for Residential Care), an agency devoted to helping those with developmental disabilities. Her sister has been involved with JARC for 13 years through their Adult Day Training Program and, more recently, their Community Works Program.
Gechter, of Delray Beach, said she often felt alone growing up with a sister with special needs. Her work with JARC erased those feelings, allowing her to realize that so many others have a similar family dynamic.
About three years ago, inspired to help other siblings feel connected and find a safe space to share experiences and ideas, she and JARC board member Nikki Joffe created The Sibling Society, based out of JARC Florida, which is headquartered in Boca Raton.
As co-chair of The Sibling Society, Gechter encourages sibling engagement through annual events like Cocktails for JARC, which they recently hosted, and monthly Shabbats.
Today, Gechter is also a senior customer success specialist with the job-search platform Indeed. We spoke with Gechter to learn more about her inspiration, her experience as a sister to someone with special needs, and how her Jewish upbringing has led her to a life of philanthropy. The interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Q: Why was it so important for you to get involved with JARC?
A: My sister was in the public school system and she wasn’t getting accepted into programs and that’s how my mom found JARC. She started from the bottom, volunteering and doing everything she could to get Gaby into the program. She ended up becoming president for three terms.
It wasn’t until high school when I met Nikki Joffe, a current board member of JARC who has a sister with Down syndrome, that I understood there were other families that looked like mine. I didn’t have any other friends growing up who had siblings with special needs. As a kid, I didn’t understand how to handle her differences.
When I graduated college, Gaby had just started the JARC program. I didn’t know what I was doing with my life, so I started to volunteer with JARC. That’s when I broke out of my shell and that feeling of being alone left, because I surrounded myself with people who had siblings like I had. It was important for me and Joffe to create The Sibling Society because we didn’t want people to feel alone.
Q: Tell us about your sister, Gaby. What was it like growing up with a sibling with disabilities?
A: I feel like my experience is different from others. Gaby is developmentally delayed, but she is 15 times more social than I am. She meets someone and she’s their best friend. Meanwhile, I don’t trust anyone when I first meet them. It wasn’t until I saw her around other people in camp that I even realized that she was different.
I was a teenager in the same high school and I would think to myself, ‘What are other people going to think of me if they see me coming out of the special education room?’ And that’s where Joffe really came into play. She taught me how to not care what people think and how to thrive in this environment. I learned that you’ll get so much more back than you ever put into it.
Q: Why was The Sibling Society created?
A: JARC clients are 18 to 85 years old, so the siblings are as young as 10 to as old as 100. It’s a unique experience to be a sibling of someone with a special need. We ultimately become the responsible party, and sometimes we know that in advance and other times it’s unexpected. We wanted to create a forum where we could talk about this and we could all be together and share and not feel alone. We wanted to talk about road blocks and successes, and we wanted to be able to spread the word about JARC to the community — to inform others about how they can help and all the great things they do for our siblings.
Every sibling treats this situation differently. It can come off as a burden to many: There’s financial burdens and situational issues. I can say for myself, I know I have this financial situation looming around me, and I’m blessed enough to have another sister to lean on, but not everybody does and not everyone’s in a financial place to cover it.
Some people think it’s too much of a burden and they want JARC to be 100% responsible. But for that to happen, we need donors and money to pay for their livelihood.
Q: What is your specific role in The Sibling Society?
A: I am co-chair. Joffe and I created it and now we have Molly Friedman as a third co-chair. We recently did an event at the JARC client gala and did a water bottle decorating station. We realized we needed help, so we created a contact list of the siblings who want to volunteer.
Right now, we are just trying to build awareness and get the word out in the community; not just that The Sibling Society exists but that JARC exists. And from there, we want to do more events with our siblings and raise money for them. Those are our two main goals.
Q: How has The Sibling Society expanded/changed since it started?
A: It started with two people and now we have 50 or 60 people on our registered list. We had a happy hour to meet other siblings and we want to expand into more events like that. The first time we were out in front of the community was when we had a station at the client gala. We recently hosted the annual Cocktails for JARC event on Aug. 19, which was incredibly meaningful. It raised money for a program called Community Works, which places JARC clients at local businesses to work. Each week, 95 JARC clients work for 20 different businesses in the community. Since the program started in 2014, 41 clients have gotten hired. My sister worked for country clubs and The Cheesecake Factory through this program, and when Woodfield Country Club in Boca Raton had an opening, she went in for an interview and now she does work there four days a week. The state of Florida cut our budget, so we need to make up the difference. The money helps us maintain operations.
Q: The Sibling Society does monthly Shabbats, an annual gala, and more. What is your favorite event?
A: I love the monthly Shabbat. We have rabbis come in and lead it. One is Rabbi Robert Silvers from B’nai Israel in Boca Raton, who was my rabbi growing up. It’s such a special experience; everyone comes out into the auditorium and we pass out wine and challah and do the prayers together and sing songs. The rabbi goes through the Torah portion and puts it into words where everyone can understand, and it is really such a beautiful experience. There are clients who know the prayers and others who just love the sense of community, which is what Judaism is all about.
Q: How has your Jewish upbringing impacted your philanthropic spirit and approach toward life?
A: I always follow Tikkun Olam — anytime you help someone else, you end up helping yourself even more. All my years in Hebrew school and living in such a Jewish community, I saw everyone else around me giving back.
When it comes time for gala season, I see people just raising their paddles at auctions and that is my goal in life. Anytime I get more money, I’m giving it away to Jewish organizations. … There’s so much that the world needs and if I can give, I’m going to.
Q: What is one thing you wish people knew about individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities?
A: I think a lot of people are scared of people with special needs, and I know that because I was. You don’t know what you don’t understand and people are really mean. They call them names, they make fun of their stutters. They are really awful.
The first time I went to volunteer at JARC, I had graduated from college, I didn’t have a job, I thought I was going to get my masters and I had just failed a test. I went to hang out with Gaby and her friends and they are all telling me how funny and kind I am. They don’t see race, they don’t see color, they just look into your soul and, if you’re a good person, they love you.
JARC’s mission is to help extraordinary people lead ordinary lives. That’s all they want, they just want to be accepted and live their lives just like we do.
For more information on JARC or volunteer opportunities, visit jarc.org/volunteer.
